Happy Birthday, Sir Terence David John Pratchett (otherwise known as Terry Pratchett/Pterry)
28th April 1948
(Source: tifffanyaching)
1782I can blow anything,” said Glod.
“Realllly?” said Imp. He sought for some polite comment. “That must make you very popular.
Terry Pratchett, Soul Music (via slythwolf)
You need a special kind of mind to rule a city like Ankh-Morpork, and Lord Vetinari had it. But then, he was a special kind of person.
- Guards! Guards! , Terry Pratchett
(Source: charles-dances)
Things were simpler then,” said the Count. “And also very, very stupid.
Terry Pratchett, Carpe Jugulum (via fragmentsshoredagainstmyruin)
Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.
Terry Pratchett, Mort (via quotebook-notebook)
Albert grunted. “Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?”
Mort thought for a moment.
“No,” he said eventually, “what?”
There was silence.
Then Albert straightened up and said, “Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve ‘em right.
Terry Pratchett, Mort (via quotebook-notebook)
Do you know what it feels like to be aware of every star, every blade of grass? Yes. You do. You call it ‘opening your eyes again’. But you do it for a moment. We have done it for eternity. No sleep, no rest, just endless… endless experience, endless awareness. Of everything. All the time. How we envy you, envy you! Lucky humans, who can close your minds to the endless cold deeps of space! You have this thing you call… boredom? That is the rarest talent in the universe! We heard a song, it went ‘Twinkle twinkle little star…’ What power! What wondrous power! You can take a billion trillion tons of flaming matter, a furnace of unimaginable strength, and turn it into a little song for children! You build little worlds, little stories, little shells around your minds and that keeps infinity at bay and allows you to wake up in the morning without screaming!
Terry Pratchett - A Hat Full of Sky (via goldshitter)
585. You don’t need anything to pull you down. Down’s where you go if there’s nothing to keep you up. (suggested by thegracechick)
The hot wind flapped the banners. The sunlight sparkled off the spears. Lord Rust surveyed his army and found that it was good. But small.
He leaned towards his adjutant.
‘Let us not forget, though, that even General Tacticus was outnumbered ten to one when he took the Pass of Al–Ibi,’ he said.
‘Yes, sir. Although I believe his men were all mounted on elephants, sir,’ said Lieutenant Hornett. ‘And had been well provisioned,’ he added meaningfully.
‘Possibly, possibly. But then Lord Pinwoe’s cavalry once charged the full might of the Pseudopolitan army and are renowned in song and story.’
‘But they were all killed, sir!’
‘Yes, yes, but it was a famous charge, nevertheless. And every child knows, do they not, the story of the mere one hundred Ephebians who defeated the entire Tsortean army? A total victory, hey? Hey?’
‘Yes, sir,’ said the adjutant glumly.
‘Oh, you admit it?’
‘Yes, sir. Of course, some commentators believe the earthquake helped.’
‘At least you will admit that the Seven Heroes of Hergen beat the Big–Footed People although outnumbered by a hundred to one?’
‘Yes, sir. That was a nursery story, sir. It never really happened.’
‘Are you calling my nurse a liar, boy?’
‘No, sir,’ said Lieutenant Hornett hurriedly.
‘Then you’ll concede that Baron Mimbledrone single-handedly beat the armies of the Plum Pudding Country and ate their Sultana?’
‘I envy him, sir.’
Terry Pratchett, Jingo (via gadding-about)
